Mistakes and Joys Of Love
by SunFlowerViolinist
Summary: She was gone and the only way he could win her back was to look to their past for answers. I DON'T OWN PRETTY LITTLE LIARS.
1. Chapter 1

_**I have known you my whole life. When you were ten you said you would make me your wife and eight years later you won me over just as I took the world on my shoulders. I got used to living without you, endless phone calls and dreaming about you. Always said that you were my meant to be, but I guess I was in love with your memory. You know I love you, I really do, but I can't fight any more for you. And I don't know, maybe we will be together again, sometime in another life.**_

_**I know I said that I would keep my word. I wish that I could save you from the hurt. Things will never go back to how we were. I am sorry I can't be your world. You know I love you, I really do, but I can't fight any more for you.**_

_**The way your holding on to me makes me feel like I can't breathe. Just let me go. It just don't feel right in side. God knows I have tried. You know I love you, I really do, but I can't fight any more for you. And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again sometime in another life.**_

His heart felt like it was sinking to the ground as he read her words. Things had been rough lately he knew that, but never once did he ever believe that she would really leave. They always got through the tough times. It was their thing. They fought for each other. But, it was clear as he looked at her words that she had no more fight left in her. He couldn't fight back the tears as he let the scrap of notebook paper hit the hardwood floor of what was their home. He built this place for her. Every little detail was hand selected by her. He had no way to escape her.

It was just one beer to wash the pain down. Then another when he saw their wedding picture still hanging on the wall in the living room. It was up to five by the time he found himself laying on the bedroom floor surrounded by all their pictures, those precious memories was all it had left. There was one tucked away in a box under the bed that he couldn't put down. They were standing in her front yard smiling as wide as they could be. She had a pink flower tucked in her hair and he had grass stains all over his white t-shirt. They were just children, innocent as could be, back before all hell broke loose in their life. As he looks at the American flag dress she was wearing he couldn't help, but to remember that day.

_The sun was shining bright on the neighborhood block party. The residents of Rosewood took the Fourth very seriously. He was sitting under the oak in his front yard watching as the other children played with each other. He really didn't fit in, but she didn't seem to mind. Her family had just moved into the house next door a few days before. He knew that because his mother spent the whole day watching as the moving trucks unloaded their belongings. He wasn't sure what to do when she walked up and sat down next to him. "Want a cookie?" She asked as she held out a cookie decorated to look like a flag. He just smiled as he took the cookie from her. _

"_Thanks." He replied simply. He looked into her big brown eyes for the first time and knew he was in love. Even though no nine year old really knows what love is. _

"_Why are you all alone?" She asked as she looked over at the other group of kids running around. _

"_I don't have any friends." He replied. _

"_Oh." She replied as she looked at the other kids again. "Well, I am Aria and I will be your friend." She had a huge smile on her face as she reached out to shake his hand. "And don't worry about them. I saw Alison pick her nose and eat it."_

He couldn't help, but want to kick himself in the face. How could he be so stupid? You don't meet the love of your life when you are nine. But, then he thinks about that first kiss and he remembers how he could be so stupid.

"_TOBY STOP IT!" She squealed as she ran through her backyard as their parent's watched them carefully. That was the year that his mother left, but you couldn't tell that he was hurting at that moment. _

"_You dared me to and if I don't I will die." He replied as he chased her. Her long dark hair flew in the wind as she ran around. _

"_Who told you that?" She asked as she stopped in her tracks._

"_Everyone knows that if you don't follow through a dare you will die." He said as he looked at her. "Plus you are going to have to kiss me sometime." _

"_What makes you say that?" She just crossed her arms over her chest. _

"_Well, you are going to have to kiss me if we are going to get married." He pointed out matter of factly as he looked at her. _

"_I am eight, I have better things to do than get married to you." She spat out at him. "Plus, why would you want to marry me anyway?" She asked. _

"_So, I can kiss you anytime I want." He said as he leaned in to kiss her. He hit her check because she moved her head, but that was perfect for him._

How could he be so stupid to let something so great slip out of his hands? They were perfect for each other. He knew it since he was nine. But, he was dumb enough to let it go. "You are such as dumbass!" He yelled as the beer bottle broke against the wall. The glass that covered the floor had a better chance of healing than his heart.

INANOTHERLIFEINANOTHERLIFEIN ANOTHERLIFEINANOTHERLIFEINAN OTHERLI

She looked out the window of her best friend's kitchen. She watched as two blonde haired girls ran through the backyard. This was what they were supposed to have, but they couldn't make it work. Leaving may have been the dumbest thing she has ever done, but it was the right thing or she tries to convince herself it was. How could something that was right hurt her so much? Her heart was gone. There was just an empty space where it used to be. And she knows why that is. He was her heart. As much as she doesn't want to admit it. "How long do you plan on hiding out here?" She heard her friend's voice coming from behind her.

"Not long. I will probably head back to the city in a day or so. Find a hotel to stay in until I can get an apartment." She replied as she kept her eyes glued out the window.

"Aria, just go home. You two have been through too much to give up now. Caleb says Toby is really hurting. He just wants you to come home." She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hanna it's too late. Time to move on." She replied as she started to walk away. "I will be out of here tomorrow. I know Caleb takes Toby's side in this."

"There is no sides! YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS!" She knew there might have been a point to the words, but her mind was made up. No matter how much it hurt.

**A/N: LYRICS TO THE VERONICAS IN ANOTHER LIFE AT THE START OF THIS CHAPTER. I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE MUSIC THAT WILL BE USED IN THIS OR PRETTY LITTLE LIARS. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The bolded italized lyrics are All We'd Ever Need by Lady Antabellum. The sections of lyrics block off the sections, after each section there is a switch of POV. It starts with Aria, then Toby, then Aria, then Toby, so forth and so on till the end. I hope that you enjoy this. Let me know what you think. **

_**Boy it's been all this time and I can't get you off my mind. Nobody knows it, but me. I stare at your photograph. Still sleep in the shirt you left. Nobody knows it, but me. Every day I whop my tears away. So many nights I have prayed for you to say: I should have been chasing you. I should have been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me. I should have said all the things that I kept inside of me and maybe I could have made you believe that all we had was all we'd ever need.**_

She didn't think about it at first. Those first few nights in her cozy little hotel room she didn't think about him at all. But, then in the back of one of her bags was one of his shirts. The black material was like a knife through her heart. She felt the first tear fall and then she found herself crying herself to sleep. The next day she couldn't bring herself to leave the room. She just sat in bed wearing that worn out black t-shirt thinking about the first night she slept in one of his shirts. Then when the tears from that memory were gone she taught about all of their firsts. She cried her way through the past before falling asleep. The worst came when she thought she was ready to move on. She pulled out her laptop to check her emails. One accidental click as she was crying her way through all their pictures starting all the way from their junior year in high school. She got to the one of her high school graduation before she completely lost it. She picked up her cell phone and through her tears dialed an all too familiar number.

_**My friends think I am moving on, but the truth is I am not that strong. Nobody knows it, but me .I've kept all the words you said in a box underneath my bed. Nobody knows it, but me. Girl, if you are happy I will get through somehow, but the truth is that I have been screaming out: I should have been chasing you. I should have been trying to prove that you were all that matter to me. I should have said have all the things that I kept inside of me and maybe I could have made you believe that all we had was all we'd ever need.**_

He had lied when his friends called. He wasn't out at the bar watching the game. Drinking was no longer a social occasion for him. No he saved it for when he was all alone with the box of memories that she had kept all these years. Prom pictures. Letters. All the lyrics she wrote on napkins over the years. All the post-it notes he stuck on the coffee marker for her in the mornings. All the little things he should have paid attention to before. He finds himself yet again sitting on the sofa with every little memory lying out in front of him on the coffee table. Her pink hair years. The details of the trail, every dated newspaper clipping of the cases no matter how painful, she kept it all. He knew now that she was screaming out for his attention when she moved the box from the attic months ago, but he didn't see them. Just as he finds himself living in the memories again he is pulled out by the sound of the doorbell.

_**It was all we need. I thought it was all we'd ever need. **_

As she looked out at the lake that she had fallen in love with throughout her life, she couldn't help but think about all the good times she had here. It wasn't supposed to be like this she knew that well. But, she still couldn't justify staying there, no matter how hard leaving was. "Aria." She heard her name being called from behind her. She tried around to see a familiar face. A friend, even if he was on the other side of this fight. Caleb had become more than just Hanna's significant other over the last few years. He was a great listener when all hell was breaking lose and with her family that seemed to happen a lot. "What the hell are you doing out here? Do you realize that it is about to freaking start pouring rain?" He asked as he ran to meet her. She knew in that second he could read the pain on her face as the tears ran down her check. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her. "Come on let's get you to the car." He said as he put his arm around her to hold her up.

"Do you remember the trip we all took out here a couple years ago? When we brought the kids up to the lake and it rained the whole damn time. You and Toby were busting at the seams to get out of that cabin by the end of the trip, but as soon as he saw that little smile he knew it was worth it." Her tears were pouring down like the rain beating down on the car's windshield as they sat there looking at the lake. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were so happy. We were supposed to be each other's forever."

"Hey, you two will get through this. You are each other's forever. You're too strong to give up now." He said as he looked at her. She could tell he didn't know what to do. It wasn't everyday your best friend's marriage falls to pieces.

"I tried to call him today and he didn't answer. It's never been like that before. I guess it's too late to go back home even if I wanted to." She said as her tears fell even harder.

_**I should have been chasing you. **_

He couldn't help, but frown even more when he opened the door to find Hanna standing there with a casserole dish in her hands. It was hard for him to be around her. She reminded him so much of everything that he lost when Aria walked right out of that door. "Caleb sent me over with lasagna. Something about having a hunch you weren't eating proper meals." She said as she looked into the living room. "Or maybe you haven't been eating at all. You do realize that Bud-Lite isn't a food group right?" She asked as she busted through the doorway and walked into the living room. He saw her stop in her tracks at the coffee table.

"Hanna really I don't need anything, but some time alone." He said as he looked over at her.

"Right because this is so healthy. If anyone else came over they would think you were some kind of serial killer." She said as she sat the lasagna down on a chair not far from the sofa he was practically living on because it hurt too much to go into their room. "The trip to the lake. You hated that trip more than anything else." She said as she sat down on the sofa picking up a family picture from two years ago. "You know it doesn't have to be like this. You have people to talk to you don't have to lock yourself in here with all this." She said as she motioned to the mess of memories around her.

"People don't have the answers I need." He said as he shut the door realizing he wasn't getting rid of her anytime soon. He found himself sitting down next to her as she started to talk again.

"And what answers would that be?" She asked as she stared at him.

"How could I be so stupid to let her go?" He asked simply.

_**You should have been trying to prove … **_

… _**That you were all that mattered to me**_

_**Oh,oh, you should have said all the things …**_

_** … That I kept inside of me**_

"We had it all." She said as she looked over at Caleb. "And yet, we lost it all too. I just remember it all so well." She said as she looked out the window.

_**Maybe you could have made me believe …**_

_** … What we had, Girl**_

_**That what we had …**_

_** … What we had**_

Hanna paused for a moment as she looked at him. Then the answer came out of her mouth. "Why don't you tell me? Start from the beginning."

_**IT WAS ALL WE'D EVER NEED!**_


	3. Chapter 3

September 1, 2010

He saw the moving truck out of his window. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about his childhood crush moving back to town after being in another country for a year and the last five years when their friendship had fallen to pieces. But, then he looked at the letter that he got almost a year earlier from an address in Iceland…things just made sense in his head for a moment.

_Toby, _

_I know that after everything that has happened my words probably don't mean much. I know you see me as one of Alison's mindless lackeys now, but I hope just for a moment you can remember all the good times we had. I blame it all on summer camp, things changed after you went away that summer. Not that I am trying to pin this all on you, I am just as much to blame. I know that the others probably think you had something to do with Alison's disappearance. It would make sense for you to want revenge for the Jenna thing, but I know you don't have anything to do with it. I know you better than that. I hope you know my words are honest and sincere even if they are coming from an ocean away. Sorry for everything. I need you to know that I am so sorry for everything._

_With Love, _

_Aria_

It was silly how some simple words written out on a page could make up for the years of mistreatment. But, suddenly all of it became crystal clear to him. All the name calling, the firecracker, it was all Alison. Aria was just a bystander. He just wondered what it was going to be like now that she was back. He was sure of one thing though … as he looked out his bedroom window and saw her standing there staring up at the house next store … the way her hair blew in the wind and the way she just seemed like the old Aria it reminded him how much he still loved her. He could have sat there and watched the boxes go in the house for hours just like he did the year before when all the boxes were going out of the house next store. Or like he did back when he was nine, when his mother and him sat down in the kitchen with hot chocolate as she took note of every little thing. However, he wasn't nine anymore and a crappy job was waiting for him down at the local pool hall. He just looked down at her again one last time. He couldn't help but smile when he reminded himself she was back. Back for good.

Things were going to be so much different this time. He knew it would be. When he got to work the faded flyer that hang above the bar reminded him of that. Alison's face may still be looking back at him from the wall, but she wasn't going be able to mess things up like she did before. No, it was truly a second chance. The cards are on the table and for once they are on his side. Nothing could bring him down anymore. Not even cleaning toilets and serving the oh so loving citizens of the hell known as Rosewood. None of that matter to him. How could it when things were looking so good. But, nothing prepared him for the moment when he came out of the dingy backroom to see her sitting at the bar. The place was nearly empty at that point. It was just the beautiful girl with the pain in her eyes and a man just out of college who wanted nothing more than to talk and talk. The manger Ben flashed him a smile and pointed at Aria.

Aria was too focused staring at the flyer on the wall, but he walked towards her anyway. "Do you think she is dead?" She asked as she looked up at him. It was clear to him that she had been crying.

It was a hard question to answer. He knew that their relationship would be dependent on the answer that came out of his mouth. Plus, it wasn't like it would be hell for him if she was dead. He even hoped a couple times she was. Alison was a bitch, there was no denying that, but Aria for some unknown reason valued her friendship. And more importantly he valued Aria. "A year is a long time." The words that came out of his mouth were simple. The less he said the less he could upset her.

She looked down at her hands for a moment. She didn't look up, but after a while he words told him that she was crying. "When she first disappeared I told myself that she just ran off with some guy. She just wanted to give her father a heart attack and she would be back in a day or so. But, she never came back." He wasn't sure what to say he just stood there. He knew that it was hard on her. She valued Alison's friendship. He had no way of understanding why, but she did. "Now I have to realize the only way she is coming back is in a damn body bag. I was there when she disappeared I could have stopped her. I could have done something I know I could have." He reached out and wiped a tear from her check.

"I am here for you now." He whispered as he looked into her big brown eyes. He could tell she was hurting, but he didn't know what else to say. He thought back to the old days and came up with a simple way to cheer her up. "How about I go make you one of those strawberry shakes you love so much?" He asked as he smiled at her.

She just nodded as the slightest bit of a smile appeared. "It's nice to have you back." She said softly before he walked away. When he got back he saw the other guy sitting at the bar chatting up Aria. He couldn't help, but smile when Ben walked by placing his drink two seats down from where he was.

"She's sixteen, buddy." He said as he looked at the guy and sure enough he moved down the two seats. He should have felt bad for what happened the rest of the night. Sure it seemed wrong to get paid for spending the whole night talking up his childhood crush. But, by the way Ben kept smiling over at them. He knew that something was big was happening there at that bar. Something life changing. However, at the moment it just seemed like a normal moment between old friends.

"You remember the summer your mother got the box set of _Friends_?" He asked her after two strawberry milkshakes and hours of talking about nothing and this life changing, yet simple question came to play.

"How could I forget? You dared me to climb that big oak tree in the square. Next thing I know I am spending the summer sitting in the living room watching _Friends_ with my best friend." She replied with a laugh and the first real smile they had shared in years. He loved that smile.

"That summer I perfected the art of strawberry milkshakes and memorize the lyrics to the _Friends_ theme song." He replied as he kept his eyes glued to that beautiful smile.

"Oh really now, if I remember right you just hum along to the music." She changelled him. There that moment. That was the life changing moment people write love stories about as they wait for their moment.

"So nobody told you life was going to be this way, your jobs a joke, your broke, your love life's DOA, when it hasn't been your day or week, your month, or even your year, I'll be there for your, because your there for me too." He sang anotusly loud and out of tune just to make his point. She just broke out into laughter.

"I can't believe you did that, but that's not how it goes." She said softly as she reached to touch his face. "I'll be there for you, like I have been there before, I'll be there for you, because your there for me too." She hummed softly as she leaned in towards him. It was just a simple kiss. Two sets of lips barely brushing up against each other, but it was perfect. That was until her cell phone started ringing. "I got to get Mike. I will see you tomorrow." She said quickly as she kissed his forehead. Before he knew it she was gone. When he went to leave he noticed a napkin stuck under his windshield wiper. The first of many memories, it read:

_9/1/10_

_So no one told you life was going to be this way_

_ Your job's a joke, Your broke_

_ Your love life's DOA_

_ It's like you always stuck in second gear_

_ But, when it hasn't been your day or week_

_ Month or even your year_

_ I'll be there for you_

_ When the rain starts to pour_

_ I'll be there for you_

_ Like I have been there before_

_ I'll be there for you_

_ Because your there for me too_

_ With Love,_

_ Aria _


End file.
